Fifteen is an extremely difficult age for girls. Problems can exist regardless of what the parents do (e.g., if they are strict or not strict) and regardless of the steps a parent takes to try and correct bad behavior.
This said, it sounds like one step that the parents should take is to be more limiting in what the girl can do. Fifteen year old's are still juveniles and therefore still subject to the rules their parents place on them (this can change at 16 and 17, depending on where you live). A parent taking away a fifteen year old's internet access and cell phone, and limiting the time she can watch television and hanging out with friends, is NOT an unreasonable step.
In this case, in my opinion these actions should be the FIRST step the parents take - not only as a punishment but also as a deterrence. In other words, you want to protect the fifteen year old from dangers she may not be able to fully understand despite her intelligence (such as older men on the internet).
It is important for parents to remember that they are parents - they are not their children's friends, buddies or otherwise. If the parent's aren't there to protect their children (even if this means restricting their child's access to activities such as internet), no one will be.
I would also strongly advise your daughter to seek therapy for HERSELF at this point, in addition to seeking FAMILY therapy and therapy for the fifteen year old. Obviously there are more issues at work in this family than just a defiant teenager - at the very least, your daughter seeking therapy will help her to cope with the stress of having a rebellious daughter in the home.
Please let me know if you have any questions!
Sincerely,
Emily
Edited by EsquireEmily on January 4 2007 at 10:41pm
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