Dear Doctor,
Good day to you. The reason I am writing to you is because I need some advise to deal with my anxiety over HIV. In April 15th 2007, I engaged in a sexual encounter with a sex worker in China. She provided the condom and it all lasted only for a few minutes, but as she was rushing it, I heard the condom snapped, she checked and says its ok. I did not bother about it. 3 weeks later I developed high fever, fatique, loss of appetite, vomit for about a week. It could have been a virus I got from my roommate during a company trip. I am not sure about this but he did feel ill before me. My doctor started asking me questions regarding my recent activities and then it HIT me....could it be HIV?I panicked. I did an ELISA at 4th week. It was negative. My fever subsided but still feel loss of appetite and general fatique and lifelessness. I went to seek a traditional chinese doctor who performed accupuncture and prescribed some herbal medication to me. It worked for a while but soon I started worrying again. I did a rapid test at 8 weeks;negative, and ELISA at 10th and 13th week;negative. By now I have regained much of my general well being. Then I started searching a lot about HIV through the internet. It has actually escalated my anxiety. I continued testing at at 16th, 18.5, 22, 24 and lastly 28 weeks. All ELISA and results are negative.
I have tested pass the 6 month mark and yet I am experiencing panic attacks whenever:-
1. My wife talks about having a baby, in fact she wants to have a baby now.
2. I come across HIV forums where people informs that they tested positive after 6 months.
Doctor, how so I calm myself down? How do I assure myself that I am truely HIV negative and I cannot infect my wife? My fear has consumed my life so much...I have virtually 'lost' 6 months of my life.