Weight gain is a huge problem these days, and not only for those with PCOS. 50% of those with PCOS are also obese - but this is an important fact, especially for you and your inquiry. That means that half of individuals with PCOS are not obese. Granted, some of those people are no doubt overweight and don't meet the criteria for obesity, but there are individuals with PCOS who are at a normal weight. I think it is great that you don't believe that "there is no help for the PCOS or the weight gain." I believe that there are things that you can do.
There is a substantial connection between disregulated metabolism and PCOS, with high rates of type II diabetes and obesity in those with PCOS. Your description of your eating habits, with only 1 meal every 2-3 days, is not a healthy diet. I understand that you are overwhelmed by the weight gain, and that you might believe that the less you eat the less you will gain, but studies have shown that it is not how little you eat but how sensibly you eat that is important. When you eat this infrequently, you body is functioning within a pseudo-starvation state, and it is very hard to lose weight while eating this way. Nutritionists generally recommend multiple (5-6) small meals per day, and these must be small. Measuring your intake, by counting calories, protein/carb/fat intake, is key, because it is far too easy underestimate how much food one is eating. You should not try and starve yourself; this can only make things worse.
You do not mention if you diabetes, so I will assume you do not. This is another point in your favor, and you should do everything to prevent the potential for a future diagnosis. If you have already been diagnosed, there still are things that you can do; first, you must attempt to keep your blood sugars within a very tight range, and similarly your Hemoglobin A1C.
Treatment for PCOS starts with weight loss and control of diabetes, and diet and exercise. You do not mention if you are already exercising, but again, this is something that is often done improperly. If you haven't yet, after consultation with your physician, try and schedule an appointment with a personal trainer, to begin to develop a personalized training routine. Exercise is key to controlling PCOS. They will be able to help you develop a program that is tolerable and effective. If you cannot afford a trainer, walking is almost always an effective and safe start-point, and you can increase your exercise as tolerated. Exercise can, and should, be done 5 times a week; once or twice a week just will not make much of an improvement.
I did not see weight gain as a side effect of metformin, and it has been studied in large clinical trials. The timing, however, with you and the 15 lb. gain over the past three weeks after you began metformin seems convincing. Your body could be adjusting (in its own way) to the medication; hopefully, this acute gain will level off, and then you can work on bringing the weight back down.
Your physicians should be working with you, encouraging you to lose weight, and giving you methods and suggestions to help you reach your goals. If your physician is not doing this, then you should find another one. I have seen far too many cases of people not receiving the appropriate treatment these days, and so I often suggest a second (or third) opinion. Meet with your primary care physician again and insist that he/she discuss the options with you. Meet with your endocrinologist and do the same, and if they are not receptive or helpful, then find another one. You deserve substantial and dedicated attention.
I am confident that you will be able to bring your weight back down, not only to help your self-esteem but also to help the PCOS. In substantially overweight patients (like yourself), weight loss can lead to a full reversal of PCOS; your physicians should be doing everything in their power to help you lose the weight. It can be hard, but it will be well worth the effort.
Finally, there are other medications out there that can help with PCOS, and you might benefit from these as well. Run these by your PCP and your endocrinologist and demand some answers.
I hope that I have been of some help. Please let me know if you have any further questions. Take care
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