Mary, my heart goes out to you but I know just by what you have said that you seem to have a better sense of what it means to be a parent. Your new grandchild will have a wonederul home. The parents of the Father do not have a leg to stand on as far as adoption. I consulted with my daughter who of course mentioned this to the attorney. He has said the most they could do is petition the court for visitation. He asked what state you live in just so he may provide better advice. He did say not to get into any discussions about the adoption. Do not say they can or can't. He advised that you simply state, "We need time to breathe, this has certainly been just a great shock to us as parents." "What is important now is our daughter's prenatal care." "We would like to know how you will contribute to her needs financially." By all means, refrain from any negative conversations or finger pointing as hard as that may be." He said do not discuss any legal recourse with anyone, nor your daughter. Just maintain an even keel until you decide what to do.
He said this is how you begin your case for later down the road. He suspects things could get a bit unpleasant. He said it is amazing how things take a nose dive when money is mentioned. He said it very important to let them know that their financial support is essential. He said do not be proud or refuse any support. In fact, if they balk at the concept that they should have to contribute, it is imperative that you file a request with the court for support from your grandbaby's parents. This is important especially important as they did not provide for the well-being of your daughter. He said do not divulge any info to them regarding medical insurance. You do not have to volunteer that you daughter may be covered for maternity under your insurance plan. I fact, he said it is important to call your medical insurance carrier immediately to determine if your daughter is covered for maternity services. The baby will not be covered under your plan until you provide documentation to the plan the baby is now your dependent. Send them a copy of every bill and receipt that pertains to the care and epense of your daughter down to the most trivial items. He also suggest to place your daughter into counseling to discuss her feelings with an impartial party. This serves a two fold purpose. Most important it is an extremely supportive outlet for your daughter and also lends creedence to you as responsible parents. If any one in your family has ambivalent feelings, it wouldn't hurt for the whole family to go to counseling. It lends some more evidence to your family being a solid unit.
He suggested that yourdaughter not be allowed to go to his home under any circumstances; however, do not forbid him to see your daughter. Allow supervised visiting in your home on a restictive basis, perhaps once during the week for an hour and perhaps for an hour or two on the weekend. Make sure that both you and your husband are home, or at least one of you is home. Phione calls between the two should be kept to a bare minimum. He said this will foster good will which will create less tension until the financial details are worked out.
The reason for this is that you want to establish yourselves as responsible parents in the eyes of anyone that may be involved in this, especially if you do pursue a law suit.
Feel free to add anything else to the question. I can help you to get answers to your questions via my daughter.
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