If a 17 year old female was sexually active from the age of ...

Hi Customer (name blocked for privacy)-

It would be pretty hard to know whether or not she had been sexually active. While it is true that some virgins have a hymen, it is something of a myth that all virgins have a hymen - they are frequently broken before a person's first sexual experience by a variety of ways.

For more information, see:

http://www.coolnurse.com/hymen.htm

I'm not sure why you ask this questions, obviously, but if you were the person who was sexually active from 7 to 11, you should probably consider getting help. Being sexually active at such a young age can be quite devastating for some people, whether you were forced into the acts or not. If you are referring to someone else who was sexually active, and if you know it was done against her will, please consider telling someone - her parent or guardian, the police, etc. And encourage her to get help as well.

SIncerely,
Emily


Edited by HealthGuru aka Emily on October 22 2006 at 7:25pm

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The accusation is that she was sexually molested from the age of 7 to 11, by a male whose age at the time was 12 to 16. The male has denied. If you can't tell from the examination, since you are a Psychologist, is there hypnosis or some type of drug that can be given to the male, with his permission to clear this matter up?

Hi Customer (name blocked for privacy)-

There really isn't anything that can be given to the male to get him to "confess" or "remember" the event. If he IS saying he doesn't remember, and it truly seems like he has blocked out the event, he could try intensive psychoanalysis to help recall the event. The effectiveness of this therapy in helping to recall blocked out memories is questionable, however, and often leads to "false" memories being remembered - as such, I personally don't recommend this being done (although psychotherapy itself is a perfectly fine form of general therapy).

Unfortunately this sort of he said/she said stuff is a major problem in sexual assult cases. At least a few times a week I personally witness cases IN TRIAL where the facts are similar to this - a female reports being molested by a male who denies it. This is why it is so important for victims of assult to report the crime IMMEDIATELY, in order for evidence to be collected. Obviously this is easier said than done, of course, since most children who are abused are too afraid to report the crime immediate after.

If you have further questions, feel free to ask!

Sincerely,
Emily

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What would you recommend as the next step for the male?

A few questions (and to clarify - this IS for the male accused of the sexual act, correct?):

How old is the male?

Does he remember the event at all?

Does he have any psychological problems? Any criminal history?

Is he in school? Does he work?

What is his home life like?

Thanks,
Emily

Edited by HealthGuru aka Emily on October 23 2006 at 10:37am

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He is 22 years old. When confronted with the accusation, he was speechless. He does not recall
anything at all. He has no mental or criminal trouble at all. He comes from a very loving and close knit family. He has finished school and has just finished with a double associate from Jr. College. He is employed by the family business and is in the process of buying a home. He has a relationship with a very respectable young lady, and they are planning to be married.

Who was it that confronted him? Is he being prosecuted for the offense?

Thanks,
Emily

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He is not being prosecuted, but he was told that if this had been told during the time that it was supposedly happening, because they were both minors, he would have been sent to a Youth Development Home. The female is his cousin, and the whole family is very close. There are only a handfull that even know what's going on. It was family members that confronted him, and it was with every detail that she has given, and it was done in as calm a matter as possible.

Wow - what a confusing and frightening situation, not only for him, but for the family as well.

One can only imagine how horrifying it must be to be accused of something like this and not remember actually doing it. He should definitely seek out counseling, as should the cousin that is making the accusations. It is not certain that he will ever remember anything, assuming something actually happened, but therapy right now would definitely help him get through this undoubtedly difficult time in his life. The most appropriate form of counseling would be psychotherapy, rather than some other therapies available (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy). When he is seeking out a therapist, he should ask them if they have dealt with this sort of situation before.

As I just said, the cousin should get therapy as well. Needless to say, if she actually was assaulted at such a young age she undoubtedly needs help dealing with such trauma. If the incident didn't actually happen, she needs to learn why she believes it did happen - perhaps she was abused by someone else and is confusing the abuser in her mind. It's important that no one pass judgment on her, or question her honesty, but seeking out an impartial person for her to talk to is very important.

Unfortunately the truth of the situation may never be found... and this is something the family may need to come to accept. Ideally neither party will be unfairly treated because of the accusations, and that the honesty of either party will not be questioned.

Sincerely,
Emily

Edited by HealthGuru aka Emily on October 23 2006 at 1:11pm

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Thank you very much for your help!

I'm very happy to help, and thank you very much for the bonus! Stay in touch!

All the best,
Emily

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