i think i was raped. i feel depressed and guilty because of it. worst of all, i know that it's my fault. i feel so stupid about it. i snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to meet this person whom i barely knew. we just talked for a bit and he seemed "nice". i submitted to him and agreed have sex with him, but it wasn't intimate at all. in the middle of it i wanted to stop because it hurt. he anally raped me and even though i was telling him to stop because it hurt. then he flipped me over and got on top of me. i was so worried. i just submitted to him because i was scared he would hurt me. then he wanted me to finish him off and blow him but i didnt want to. he tasted really bad. he was sticking it down my throat and i was crying while he was doing it. i asked him to stop so i could have a drink of water but he wouldnt let me. it reminded me of when i was date raped before when i was 13. it was almost the same thing. him getting on top of me was the most traumatizing and it reminded me of it. i was afraid and that was when i was starting to get the sense of deja vu. now im afraid that i might have an STD, but i honestly dont know. i dont want to press charges and i dont want my parents to know. worst of all, he lied about his age. he told me he was 17 but he was actually 27. but now, i want to get tested, i know i need to get tested, but i dont know how i can without my parents knowing. i live with my parents and i dont drive. i dont live anywhere near a doctor. can i get tested for STDs with my annual pap smear? im due for one soon. can i ask my gynecologist to test me confidentially without my parents knowing?

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